Shane Warne - The Musical

Shane Warne the Musical was by far the biggest draw (and find, as it wasn't listed) of the Comedy festival. Tania, Tom, Margot, Nessie + 2, Petra, Kate and I managed to get tickets to a workshop of a new musical from the makers of the much praised “Keating – The Musical”. The new subject, Australia's hero to the sporting world and shameful resident to the Australians, Shane Warne.

We discussed beforehand that even though almost all of us had no idea of his cricketing achievements, most people were aware of the off-the-field tabloid headlines of drugs, booze, smoking and women, and if not, we had his Wikipedia entry printed out to fill in the gaps.

It's worth mentioning that this was a workshop. It was only on for five days at the festival (we saw it on day one), and the team had done a few songs at the big, festival opening, Gala performance the night before. It was explained that the team had never run through the show at the current venue. They needn't have worried, the first half was smooth, slick, embarrassing (for the Australians in attendance), and hilarious. Charting the story of young Wayne's path to cricketing success, (“How do you spell success? A.I.S” (Australian Institute of Sport, built with the sole intention of making sure Australians ARE a success).

Soon we move through the scandals and milestones that dogged his career from his love of Pizza and smoking, a failed Aussie Rules Footie player right through to his playing around with other women whilst on tour and getting caught by a text message sent to his wife by mistake (Cue, “What an SM-mess i'm in”).

Personally I didn't think the second half was as exciting and funny as the first although it had its great moments and we were all left chatting about it for hours after, actually it's days after now.

It's due for release in December, can't wait to see how they polish it up.

Ross Noble

Thursday night was what I had been waiting for since seeing a flyer at the train station the day we arrived in Melbourne. Ross Noble.

I've seen him many time and hold him in high regard, so could wait to see him perform in his home for half the year.

He was on top form for his opening night and spend pretty much the entire first half working with the audience which is a pure delight to witness. So many charachters were involved that I wil try to mention at a later date when I have more time.

I went with Kate's sister Petra who has seen lots of Noble but never live, I think she had a great time.

This will probably only make sense to Petra but this will give you an idea of how random Ross is....

Characters from the audience included in the show....

The “Noooo” man who wanted tickets to Rove.
The people in the wrong seats.
The man in the worst seat in the world.
The woman with the glittering ring.
The man who had to remember “Hair” who had no hair.
The girls who left Ross a note saying “We Love You!!”, excessive use of the exclamation mark.
And the worlds worst mum and (for bringing her 12-year-old daughter).

Things we talked about......

Hippo-Gimp / Hippogriff
Giant Japanese calligraphy written with Ross' hair, read by a man in a glider.
Ross looking like an Anorexic man from Lost.
The most idiotic comment ever, English guy on his move to Melbourne “I moved cause of the immigrants”.
Shaking hands after sex.

Comedy Comedy Comedy

It was good fortune to be here the same time as the Grand Prix. However that is eclipsed by the shear joy of being here for the renowned Comedy Festival, (Even if it is only the first 3 days!).

So I have a lot of work to do.

Opening Night....

After fighting public transport, (No time for that here, yet), the first night, I rushed into town to see "Jimeoin", An Irish Comic. I had intended to see Daniel Kitson but the very late once an hour train (rant rant) had meant I missed it!

However on arrival at the box office I was told Daniel was doing a 10pm Late show, hurrah, so I got my ticket for Jimeoin to ponder seeing Daniel after.

Jimeoin has very observational material but it was all fresh , interesting and funny stuff. Although he has quite a soft voice, he managed to capture the audience for the whole show.

Comedians with guitars on stage usual worry me, I think musical comedy is very hard and have heard some very unfunny bizarre songs in my time. Just because a comedian can play a guitar, sometimes they feel the need to use it in their act.

However! It was used for a some great observations about songs and a quite a clever "That for coming to see the show" song that was recorded into a loop machine and played out while we left.

If the night had ended there, I would have been content with my comedy fix. I was fired up for more so I got a ticket for Daniel Kitson and went straight back to the same theatre.

Kitson was stunning, he's been a round for a while but I have never seen him. He is a UK comic living in London. The show was "The Impotent Fury of the Privileged" and was a fantastically written series of stories which progress, digressed and ended up closing the opening story.

Kitson is a born story teller, even his stammer (Which we are informed he has done loads of amazing material on in the past) does not get in the way in the slightest. The audience are spot on with laughting at the lines and be patient with the stammer.

Alot of his material he talked about was in London so very easy for me to recognise and picture the things he described.

I would go and see this same show again at the drop of a hat, so beautifuly was it presented and written.

The Melbourne Grand Prix

I've always had a love of the Grand Prix. I have happy memories of watching it with Dad, especially in the Damon Hill era. I have since had a love hate relationship with this sport for the last 10 years, sometimes loving it, sometimes ignoring it through bordom (Oh, another Ferrari 1-2!), but I have always wanted to go to a Grand Prix.

Albert Park from the sky.....


View Larger Map

With the sport getting a little bit more interesting and to my surprise two weeks ago, a portacabin was erected in Federation Square to sell tickets to the Melbourne Grand Prix. I was in Melbourne at the same time as the circus, purly by chance! After asking around if anybody fancied going I was turned down by all, and pretty much gave up hope of going.

However it had stayed in the back of my mind, and on race morning I was around, free and Kate wanted to spend the day with her mum and i decided to go. it's worth pointing out the discust shown in the Grand Prix by most of Kate's family. I felt it my duty to redress the balance of a perfect Son-in-law! As Kate said to me before I left "Everone has their dark side".

There had been lots of talk in the papers the week preceeding about Melbourne losing the GP after 2010, So I figured this might be my only chance to see it in such a great place.

So I went, It was hot, (very hot!), Loud, (Very loud), and fast (You get the picture). but I had a good look round in the three hours I have before race start for a good place to stand. I ended up on corner 2 (With a view of Corner 1), and a view of a TV screen. I also had a radio carrying commentary so i was set.

The biggest battle of the day was staying cool. I was in 37 degree heat, on a hill in the open, unprotected from the harsh Australian sun for 4-5 hours. In acordance with the regular notices, I must have drunk about 6-8 liters of water that day and applied sun cream every half hour!

I also came up with novel ideas of washing my head under a cool tap, soaking my hat as well, putting ice inside and also soaking my towel (To keep the sun off) so I could drape the cool wet side around my neck!

The pre race entertainment was good, if not "the usual" of Flying displays (Helicopters, light Planes and RAAF F-18 jets) with a Flypast from a Quantas Jet, all very impressive if not quite blokey!

Then the real toys, and the main reason for coming. So many people say you must come to a GP to hear the cars. They are amazing, so very loud and so very impressive.

The race itself was one of the most entertaining GP's i have seen and great to see Lewis H win. I even made it onto the track and to the podium in time to see the Champagne sprayed.

All in all a good day, I was shattered at the end. Would I do it again? Probably not, I've done it, ticked it off, but I thorougly enjoyed it.

Lewis' winning car in "Parc fermé".

My trackside position from "Dave Cam", first car is Lewis.

The Mighty Murray

We have just returned from a magical two day trip with Dad and Kerry to the exquisitely beautiful river Murray, on a farm called Brimin near Rutherglen in Northern Victoria.

The Murray marks the topmost border of Victoria with New South Wales, and has been the focus of much attention during Australia's terrible drought as its flow is running at an all time low, depleted by excessive irrigation and water shortages.

It is still, however, home to a huge variety of native birds and animals, and the dawn chorus is one of the most stupendous events I have witnessed.

Uncharacteristic heat, hovering around 38 degrees C, meant Dave and I spent most of our time being water babies, floating around aimlessly listen to infinite varieties of birdsong, to keep cool.

The Murray is very special to Dad who spent much of his childhood here on fishing trips with his father Ivan and brother Bruce. Here is Dad's version of events:

We parked away from the old “widow-maker” Murray river red gums whose falling limbs will squash a car in a second. (Sexist term that isn’t it!).

Went fishing. Well, 90% of the time I tried to coax violently wriggling worms onto hooks fatter than they were, or untangle fine fishing line I couldn’t see.

I also needed the half a brick we used to use as a sinker in the “old days.” None of this fancy new stuff. Current carried the line back to shore in no time.

Discretion being the better part of valour and all that, we bought some young cod to which Dave applied his culinary magic. Cod are biting on cheese for God’s sake. Their preference is Camembert, none of this Kraft cheddar stuff.

Returning to the car, minding my own business and thinking that Kerry, Kate and Dave were down by the river, the fiends jumped out from behind the car with a loud “boo” and my heart suddenly hit formula one speed. Buggers!

One could be forgiven for thinking that the deep throated boom-box noise of the three nearby emus was not “bonk, bonk, bonk.” It was like a sound coming from the other end of a long PVC pipe.

Emu video below.....

Here is where we were on a sat photo.... You can see the boarder line. We swam the bit in the middle, one of the few bits of the Murray in Victoria.


View Larger Map

Kruder & Dorfmeister

Very special four hour dance floor destruction with sister Petra and a few old ravers...


"Kruder & Dorfmeister" Live at The Forum, Melbourne



With a bit of a dancing Katester at the end!

Bull at the Gate

Old friend Colleen (one of the "Aussie Scrags") sent me a sms on Sunday to say that friend Linda was playing a gig in Fitzroy. Col and her fella Anthony joined us later at the Old Bar in Johnston Street. It was nice to turn up unannounced, and when Linda spotted us she interrupted her set to have hugs! It's been at least three years since I have had the pleasure of seeing Linda and her brother Bean perform. Linda still has that show-girl magic, an enormous voice. Between the two of them they make an acoustic set sound like a ten piece rock band.

"The Bulls" Live at The Old Bar, Melbourne


Here is their Myspace site

Aussie Family BBQ Extravaganza

This weekend we pulled off no less than two big family events, covering both sides of the gene pool.


L to R: Kate, Aunty Margaret, Uncle Malcolm, Margot (Kate's mum), Uncle Ken, Counsin Ellen, Aunty Cathy, Cousin Tom and Kate's brother Dan.

On Saturday, it was BBQ by the Yarra with mum's relatives; aunties, uncles and cousins. It was fantastic-after organising a wasp decoy (beer and burnt chop bones work a treat).

On Sunday it was another hot one, 35 degrees of that all too familiar dry Melbourne heat, and another BBQ but this time with a Hampel flavour. D and I finally got to meet Dad's girlfriend Kerry's children. The family tree continues in all its complex and beautiful glory!


Clockwise: Aunty Faye, Uncle Bruce, Kerry (Bill's girlfriend), Dave (Kate's main squeeze), Emma (Kerry's daughter), Petra (Kate's sister from Bill's 2nd marriage), Bill (Kate's dad) and Kate.

Grandma Moves into her new Home

This week has been a very eventful week for our family. A place at a nursing home had finally come up for my grandmother which meant saying goodbye to the family home at Blackburn for all of us.

In the build up to the big day Dave and I went around to Grandma's house in Blackburn to cook meals for her and my mother to help with the preparations, which were mostly psychological. Everyone bore a fear that grandma would suddenly turn around and refuse to go, which would have been a small disaster for the family. Mum is no longer well enough to care for her, Aunty Cathy is working full time. So on the last night in the family house, while Grandma sat on her favourite chair watching "The Biggest Loser" on the box, mum packed undies and nighties into a small suitcase and D and I made bolognaise sauce.






The day Grandma left the family home it was hot. Auny Cathy, Daniel, Dave, Grandma, Mum and I all had lunch together for the last time in her kitchen. After lunch I think Grandma just wanted to get it all over and done with. Mum and I frantically assembled a frame for an austere picture of Grandpa in his dog collar to take while Grandma waited in the car with her suitcase. The drive to the "Strathdon" was like taking the queen on a funereal motorcade tour. No one said much. I was pretty upset and hoped that grandma did not see how teary I was underneath my sunglasses.

When we arrived at "Strathdon" grandma's reaction was of genuine delight. She liked her room with all the familiar bits of furniture, and the fact that she had a huge bathroom all to herself. She was impressed by the immediate attention of the Sister in charge (to whom she announced very proudly that "she was a nurse too") and the maintenance man who was scheduled to come and hang her paintings. She was comforted that there was someone on call 24 hours a day and all she had to do was press a green button next to her bed. She admired her new television and the view from the window. It was a success!

Grandma's first day in her new room at "Strathdon".

Dave and I managed to do a few other things this week. We caught up with my Dad and had coffee in Southbank, and on a separate occassion saw the amazing Sydney Nolan exhibition with Petra my sister. Next week I promise, Dave, it's going to be like more of an "Aussie Holiday".





Sidney Nolan Ned Kelly 1946. Courtesy of the National Gallery of Australia, Canberra. Gift of Sunday Reed. 1977.

New pics....

New Pics added to Flickr

Some are a bit grainy, I compressed them down a bit.
Enjoy...

Click Here...

And scroll back down to the Wylies Baths entry, video added....

Yarra row and a trip to Nan's

We went for a row on the Yarra (The river that runs along the back of Margot's house). We did this last year and it was great fun, we had a very peaceful row, although, being in the front, I was unsure of the effort being put in from behind!!

Later that evening we went to see Kate's Nan and cook for her. We had a lovely evenings conversation. Three generations in one sitting!

Carrie and Francis,
Your nan recorded this message for you last night.